Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
