i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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