oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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