I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
