Dual....:-)
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize