You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
