well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Randomize
