So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She said her name was "party"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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