i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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