well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
