I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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