3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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