i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We have started to decorate penises.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize