laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
