He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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