He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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