I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize