Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
