I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
