guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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