Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
