we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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