There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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