Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
