ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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