I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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