you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My feet surprised me
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