It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
