her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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