my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
