Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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