I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
ttyl tear gas
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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