He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
