oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
