Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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