better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
