Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
