My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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