grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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