Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
