Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize