Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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