Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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