i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
