I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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