if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
