We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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