that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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