so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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