one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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