omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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