I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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