she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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