We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
