your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I would fuck him just for his dog
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize