Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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