question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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