help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
this just has baby written all over it
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Two words: nipple clamps
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