I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
