if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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