Christians are straight up FREAKS
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
