You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
where are my eyebrows?
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