I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
